Chaos. That really is the only way I can describe my life right now.
And might I add, that I feel like I'm living in survival mode 24/7...as
if surviving, in and of itself, is an accomplishment on its own. But
there is something so beautiful about chaos, something the Lord is
trying to teach me to embrace, or maybe forcing me to embrace, either
way I have yet to embrace it with arms wide open. You see, I am not your
easy-going, flexible, go with the wind type of gal; in fact, I am the
exact opposite. I am type-A all the way...I like structure, and order,
and plans, and schedules. But the reality of my life at the moment is
anything but orderly. I think the reality of motherhood is that life is not predictable, and we must remember to take each day as it comes. I am
constantly forced to depend on HIM for strength.
I have found myself struggling to grasp what exactly the Lord is wanting to teach me through this trying season with two littles (19 months and 2 months). I know that there is purpose in every situation we are placed in, and yet what purpose could there be in a morning with a screaming baby who refuses to nap and a toddler who poops in the bath...twice, all before 8am?!
I am learning more than ever about myself through trying situations, of my own weaknesses and failings. And in turn, I am learning more about the Lord's grace and goodness and how much it truly is lavished upon me each and every day. I wish I could say that in moments like that I respond well and rightly, but the truth is, most of the time, I have a bad attitude and find myself asking for forgiveness from my toddler for snapping at him because my patience is worn so thin. There is no excuse for that behavior, no matter how chaotic my life or a situation might become. Thank the Lord for His ever present, ever sustaining grace.
Lamentations 3:23 is such a beautiful Truth, "Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." What an amazing promise that is for the mother who is weary. The promise that every. single. day. we can start afresh?! What hope.
I know this is only the beginning of the work the Lord is attempting to do on my heart through this adventure of motherhood, and I am eager to see what He continues to do. How many more babies that don't sleep well will he give to me in order to teach me about my need for Him (let's hope I learn my lesson soon!)?? How many more tantrums will my toddler have to throw before I learn my true dependence upon Him and the need to be Jesus to him?? And how many more moments, like poop in the bath, will I experience in order to grow my character, and give me opportunities to respond rightly?
Mothers, may our hearts remember His fresh grace and mercy each morning, and may we live as if it is a reality, and then embrace the chaos around us...because after all, it is a beautiful thing the Lord is doing in order to make us more like Him.
I have found myself struggling to grasp what exactly the Lord is wanting to teach me through this trying season with two littles (19 months and 2 months). I know that there is purpose in every situation we are placed in, and yet what purpose could there be in a morning with a screaming baby who refuses to nap and a toddler who poops in the bath...twice, all before 8am?!
I am learning more than ever about myself through trying situations, of my own weaknesses and failings. And in turn, I am learning more about the Lord's grace and goodness and how much it truly is lavished upon me each and every day. I wish I could say that in moments like that I respond well and rightly, but the truth is, most of the time, I have a bad attitude and find myself asking for forgiveness from my toddler for snapping at him because my patience is worn so thin. There is no excuse for that behavior, no matter how chaotic my life or a situation might become. Thank the Lord for His ever present, ever sustaining grace.
Lamentations 3:23 is such a beautiful Truth, "Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." What an amazing promise that is for the mother who is weary. The promise that every. single. day. we can start afresh?! What hope.
I know this is only the beginning of the work the Lord is attempting to do on my heart through this adventure of motherhood, and I am eager to see what He continues to do. How many more babies that don't sleep well will he give to me in order to teach me about my need for Him (let's hope I learn my lesson soon!)?? How many more tantrums will my toddler have to throw before I learn my true dependence upon Him and the need to be Jesus to him?? And how many more moments, like poop in the bath, will I experience in order to grow my character, and give me opportunities to respond rightly?
Mothers, may our hearts remember His fresh grace and mercy each morning, and may we live as if it is a reality, and then embrace the chaos around us...because after all, it is a beautiful thing the Lord is doing in order to make us more like Him.
So thankful for His new mercies every morning! The last few days I've clung to 1 Peter 4:11...whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies- in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ.
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